Today, the term "Toxic relationships" is commonly used, but have you ever considered what constitutes a toxic relationship and whether it exists in your life? A toxic relationship may not be limited to your partner or spouse; it can also manifest in friendships, both new and old, at work, in your hobbies, and beyond.
These relationships can cause a huge amount of stress. Stress can affect blood sugar both directly and indirectly. Chronic stress can lead to prolonged high levels of cortisol and ultimately a lowered insulin secretion in the long run. As a result, this makes stress both dangerous for those with diabetes and a possible risk factor for its development.
What are the signs of a toxic relationship?
Do any of these red flags show up with the people in your lives?
Lack of support
You don’t feel supported or encouraged and can’t trust them to show up for you. Instead, you might get the impression that your needs and interests don’t matter; they only care about what they want.
Toxic communication
Instead of displaying kindness and mutual respect, most of your interactions are marked by sarcasm or criticism, fuelled by contempt. Alternatively, this person might opt to completely ignore you when encountering you at work or in the playground.
Envy or jealousy
Instead of feeling happy for you when you or your family accomplish something, they seem jealous or uninterested, which can make you feel like you shouldn't or don't want to celebrate your successes.
Exclusion
You might be left out of social gatherings or meetings as a way to ignore you and make you feel unwelcome.
If any of these things are occurring in your relationships, it's likely that the relationship is toxic.
What can I do to manage this?
Acknowledge that your friendship was toxic. One of the hardest things to do is to accept and acknowledge the truth. Once you have done this you can start managing it.
Heart to heart
You may care deeply for this person so talk to them... a heart to heart conversation can stir up emotions in a good way and being honest about how you feel will give them a chance to address their behaviour. They may not realise the negative impact that their actions is having on your relationship. If it makes you more comfortable you may want to do this is in a public place.
Distance yourself
Put some distance between you and them. You may want to completely put an end to the relationship. If so, you might just want to go with the rip-off the band-aid approach. This means cutting off all contact from them but this may mean confrontation is on the horizon.
If you don’t want to go to that extreme, especially if it’s a family member, then try to put some space between you and them. Plan to see them less and be ready to say no to plans that are made. Stop interacting with them on social media and If they ask to spend time with you, let them know that you have other plans and you’ll have to take a rain check.
Boundaries
Establishing boundaries is crucial in this process, and while it may be challenging to set and maintain them, once you have achieved this, you will discover it to be a valuable life skill.
It is important to determine which behavior you are willing to tolerate and which are deemed unacceptable, leading to a "game over" situation.
If you can effectively communicate these boundaries, it will assist in maintaining them, although I understand that it is not always that simple.
What next?
Look after yourself
When you cut someone out of your life, it may not be immediately apparent, but essentially, you are ending the relationship. Consequently, you may feel upset over the loss. Seeking assistance from your support network or a reliable mental health expert can aid you in managing these emotions.
Forgiving doesn't mean forgetting
Forgiveness involves releasing and progressing in your life. It doesn't mean you are condoning the actions or forgetting their impact on you. It doesn't signify granting a second chance. It purely means thats you are releasing and moving forward in your life.
Recognising and implementing these steps may not be easy, but it is important to be treated with respect. Taking even a few of these measures could enhance challenging relationships or, if necessary, bring them to an end decisively. Most importantly, prioritise taking care of yourself first, as stressful relationships can negatively impact your blood sugar levels.
Living with someone in a toxic relationship can have a more significant impact on your daily life compared to casual interactions during the school run or at a family gathering. While I am not an expert in this area, I strongly recommend seeking help from a therapist or domestic violence advocate if you feel you are in any danger. They can assist you in creating a safety plan and provide access to additional support.
Kate x
If you are in an abusive relationship help is out there:
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